There was a time in the not too distant past, when I happened to be rather overworked.
I guess that was probably my strongest opening sentence ever. Judging by the fact that it would have caused anyone who has a vague recollection of me to immediately keel over and swoon to the ground, all the while vigorously shaking their head in disbelief. But yes, miracles do occur at times. Now I can't exactly vouch for that since I haven't seen any in my short life, but I can vouch for the fact that I was overworked.
Unused as I am to this concept, and not knowing how exactly to cope with all this work that was falling around me like snowflakes on a cold wintry night, I took the counsel of my friend Kalpana, who's off late made it rather a habit to be overworked. Ghastly habit if you ask me, but to each their own, I guess. Well, anyways, I took her counsel, and she advised me to give Red Bull a try. Apparently she'd used it to good effect during some of these aforementioned work-frenzies she was apt to fall into every now and then.
Now, the Red Bull ad with Leonardo Da Vinci 'fulltoo' flying off on cute little wings happens to be one of my favorites, and so I pictured myself hovering in circles around the room, striking lightning bolts down at the mess of the paper on the floor, causing it to swish into a whirlwind and neatly sort itself out into the 'Done' box. Alright, I tend to have a vivid imagination at times...but that's never hurt anybody, has it? I also, incidentally, pictured myself developing bulging biceps that tore through my shirtsleeves and then sprinting off down the street to beat Ben Johnson's fastest time.
So, with these happy thoughts in mind, I proceeded to the nearest Food World to procure one. And three hours later, there I was, staring in blissful mesmerization at the wall ahead of me, my work in a neatly sorted pile in the 'Done' box, and shirtsleeves thankfully intact.
In fact, the only other thing in existence with these unique properties that do my soul so much good in so short a time happens to be Vodka. Need I now state the obvious? In my enhanced state of awareness, it was a simple matter of putting two and two together to come up with the idea of penning a comparison between these two greatest of drinks.
The immediate effects
Both these drinks are not composed of the Eno-type stuff that works it wonders in seconds. You need to wait patiently for the results. While the first peg of Vodka leaves you in a near-normal state, with just the hint of a smile and slightly sparkling eyes, the first few gulps of Red Bull leave you emitting a burp or two at most.
But then, slowly but surely, the euphoria starts to hit you. As I sat in front of my PC with Red Bull in hand, I noticed the characters in MS-Word appear bigger and more well-spaced out, and was able to observe intricate patterns between the spacing that had eluded my observation previously. I glanced at the wall to my left, and was aware of a clear sense of...cleanliness...that was hitherto lacking. The wall seemed bare, untouched...pure and pristine somehow, and seemed to be just a slightly brighter shade of yellow.
With Vodka the effects are similar, if somewhat contrasting. In the sense that, if I had sipped my second peg of Vodka in front of the PC, I wouldn't have noticed the intricate patterns or the purity of the wall, but then I wouldn't need to. I would generally have a much better appreciation of MS-Word, and the wonderful folks who created it. I would have on my lips a song of praise for the mason and the painter, kind benevolent folk whose tireless efforts culminated in that beautiful yellow wall.
Mid-term effects
Encouraged by the initial symptoms, I completed the rest of the of Red Bull in quick time. I sat there waiting for the effects, but the thing with Red Bull is...unlike Smirnoff...you don't really notice it hitting you. Its like falling off to sleep...you never quite know when exactly it happens. What I did notice was that several minutes later, I was wide awake and on full alert. All the lethargy and frustration of a few minutes ago had vanished completely. I was alert as an eagle with my body tensed, poised like a cobra, ready to strike in a split second. Almost of their own volition, my fingers lashed out at the keyboard and the work started to get done. All this happened almost on automation, while my mind was locked in the depths of euphoria. It was like Vivekananda and Captain Kirk said "Watch what happens in the world around you (or beneath you, in the case of Capt. K), but be not affected by the outcome".
Now, back to Vodka...as indicated earlier, it's very easy to notice the mid-term effects hitting you. Roughly at the start of the third peg (this is subjective, of course...I once had a friend collapse after a beer because he hadn't mixed enough Fanta in it), you notice that the room somehow seems to have stretched a little. Everything seems a little distant. Your mind is again seperated from your body, but unlike with RB it becomes a helpless creature behind bars. You notice yourself babbling something beyond your comprehension, but are unable to (or don't care to) correct yourself. Depending on the subject, this behavior may or may not be accompanied by the feeling that you've suddenly turned into a walking encyclopaedia and feel this sudden urge to enlighten the poor sodden souls around you on every topic imaginable. Disastrous combination, this. Of course, it helps that you're on Capt. K's territory again, not caring about what happens in the world near you. One effect, however, that's unique to Vodka is that you become an ocean of love. Your heart expands a hundredfold, enveloping in its warmth everybody within sight. You vehemently express your solidarity with a complete stranger who may well have been a piece of furniture a while ago. Then another stranger says the exact opposite thing, and you and the first stranger both vehemently express solidarity with him. Personalities, egos and opinions all melt away in the vast pot of brotherly love. Its like all of humankind is fused into a single soul.
Long-term effects
Red Bull has no lasting effects, really. You very gradually sink back to your normal state of mind and body once the Red Bull wears off, and you suddenly realize that you are sleepy, frustrated and tired again. The only difference is that since your work is now all completed, you can freely give in to all of these negative feelings without any cause for concern. Or down another Red Bull for the whole cycle to repeat again.
I can't honestly comment on the long-term effects of Vodka as I have this inexplicable tendency to fall asleep when the mid-term effects reach their heights. When I wake up the next afternoon, however, I am back to normal again. There is, of course, some initial confusion when I find myself in a strange room surrounded by people who look oddly familiar, like I'd known them in another life, but clarity is usually restored once said people start to wake up. Apart from this odd feeling of wanting to jump into the nearest well and drink up all its contents, or of someone pounding my head with a sledgehammer, I feel pretty much the same as I did the previous evening.
Well, there you have it, the definitive comparison of Red Bull and Vodka. Time now to delve into research for my next detailed thesis - what happens when you when you top up a peg of Smirnoff with a can of Red Bull.
I guess that was probably my strongest opening sentence ever. Judging by the fact that it would have caused anyone who has a vague recollection of me to immediately keel over and swoon to the ground, all the while vigorously shaking their head in disbelief. But yes, miracles do occur at times. Now I can't exactly vouch for that since I haven't seen any in my short life, but I can vouch for the fact that I was overworked.
Unused as I am to this concept, and not knowing how exactly to cope with all this work that was falling around me like snowflakes on a cold wintry night, I took the counsel of my friend Kalpana, who's off late made it rather a habit to be overworked. Ghastly habit if you ask me, but to each their own, I guess. Well, anyways, I took her counsel, and she advised me to give Red Bull a try. Apparently she'd used it to good effect during some of these aforementioned work-frenzies she was apt to fall into every now and then.
Now, the Red Bull ad with Leonardo Da Vinci 'fulltoo' flying off on cute little wings happens to be one of my favorites, and so I pictured myself hovering in circles around the room, striking lightning bolts down at the mess of the paper on the floor, causing it to swish into a whirlwind and neatly sort itself out into the 'Done' box. Alright, I tend to have a vivid imagination at times...but that's never hurt anybody, has it? I also, incidentally, pictured myself developing bulging biceps that tore through my shirtsleeves and then sprinting off down the street to beat Ben Johnson's fastest time.
So, with these happy thoughts in mind, I proceeded to the nearest Food World to procure one. And three hours later, there I was, staring in blissful mesmerization at the wall ahead of me, my work in a neatly sorted pile in the 'Done' box, and shirtsleeves thankfully intact.
In fact, the only other thing in existence with these unique properties that do my soul so much good in so short a time happens to be Vodka. Need I now state the obvious? In my enhanced state of awareness, it was a simple matter of putting two and two together to come up with the idea of penning a comparison between these two greatest of drinks.
The immediate effects
Both these drinks are not composed of the Eno-type stuff that works it wonders in seconds. You need to wait patiently for the results. While the first peg of Vodka leaves you in a near-normal state, with just the hint of a smile and slightly sparkling eyes, the first few gulps of Red Bull leave you emitting a burp or two at most.
But then, slowly but surely, the euphoria starts to hit you. As I sat in front of my PC with Red Bull in hand, I noticed the characters in MS-Word appear bigger and more well-spaced out, and was able to observe intricate patterns between the spacing that had eluded my observation previously. I glanced at the wall to my left, and was aware of a clear sense of...cleanliness...that was hitherto lacking. The wall seemed bare, untouched...pure and pristine somehow, and seemed to be just a slightly brighter shade of yellow.
With Vodka the effects are similar, if somewhat contrasting. In the sense that, if I had sipped my second peg of Vodka in front of the PC, I wouldn't have noticed the intricate patterns or the purity of the wall, but then I wouldn't need to. I would generally have a much better appreciation of MS-Word, and the wonderful folks who created it. I would have on my lips a song of praise for the mason and the painter, kind benevolent folk whose tireless efforts culminated in that beautiful yellow wall.
Mid-term effects
Encouraged by the initial symptoms, I completed the rest of the of Red Bull in quick time. I sat there waiting for the effects, but the thing with Red Bull is...unlike Smirnoff...you don't really notice it hitting you. Its like falling off to sleep...you never quite know when exactly it happens. What I did notice was that several minutes later, I was wide awake and on full alert. All the lethargy and frustration of a few minutes ago had vanished completely. I was alert as an eagle with my body tensed, poised like a cobra, ready to strike in a split second. Almost of their own volition, my fingers lashed out at the keyboard and the work started to get done. All this happened almost on automation, while my mind was locked in the depths of euphoria. It was like Vivekananda and Captain Kirk said "Watch what happens in the world around you (or beneath you, in the case of Capt. K), but be not affected by the outcome".
Now, back to Vodka...as indicated earlier, it's very easy to notice the mid-term effects hitting you. Roughly at the start of the third peg (this is subjective, of course...I once had a friend collapse after a beer because he hadn't mixed enough Fanta in it), you notice that the room somehow seems to have stretched a little. Everything seems a little distant. Your mind is again seperated from your body, but unlike with RB it becomes a helpless creature behind bars. You notice yourself babbling something beyond your comprehension, but are unable to (or don't care to) correct yourself. Depending on the subject, this behavior may or may not be accompanied by the feeling that you've suddenly turned into a walking encyclopaedia and feel this sudden urge to enlighten the poor sodden souls around you on every topic imaginable. Disastrous combination, this. Of course, it helps that you're on Capt. K's territory again, not caring about what happens in the world near you. One effect, however, that's unique to Vodka is that you become an ocean of love. Your heart expands a hundredfold, enveloping in its warmth everybody within sight. You vehemently express your solidarity with a complete stranger who may well have been a piece of furniture a while ago. Then another stranger says the exact opposite thing, and you and the first stranger both vehemently express solidarity with him. Personalities, egos and opinions all melt away in the vast pot of brotherly love. Its like all of humankind is fused into a single soul.
Long-term effects
Red Bull has no lasting effects, really. You very gradually sink back to your normal state of mind and body once the Red Bull wears off, and you suddenly realize that you are sleepy, frustrated and tired again. The only difference is that since your work is now all completed, you can freely give in to all of these negative feelings without any cause for concern. Or down another Red Bull for the whole cycle to repeat again.
I can't honestly comment on the long-term effects of Vodka as I have this inexplicable tendency to fall asleep when the mid-term effects reach their heights. When I wake up the next afternoon, however, I am back to normal again. There is, of course, some initial confusion when I find myself in a strange room surrounded by people who look oddly familiar, like I'd known them in another life, but clarity is usually restored once said people start to wake up. Apart from this odd feeling of wanting to jump into the nearest well and drink up all its contents, or of someone pounding my head with a sledgehammer, I feel pretty much the same as I did the previous evening.
Well, there you have it, the definitive comparison of Red Bull and Vodka. Time now to delve into research for my next detailed thesis - what happens when you when you top up a peg of Smirnoff with a can of Red Bull.
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